Okay so here's the deal... I LOVE to talk some shit! Trash-talking is one of my favorite things to do in life. I live for the next opportunity for someone to make some minute mistake so that I can call them on it. It's what I do. Recently though... I found myself in a very hard situation. You see the Los Angeles Lakers have lost the last 8 games that they have played at the Rose Garden in Portland, and though I know that they don't have a great record against the Blazers at home I can't ever seem to shut my mouth when they meet. THEY SHOULD BEAT THEM!!! It doesn't logically make sense that they lose. It doesn't. No it doesn't. Nevertheless this is not the reason that I am in a difficult situation. The difficulty of this situation is that a Portland Trailblazer fan that I know, who lives in the Beaverton area, who shall remain nameless is a hardcore, trash-talking, cold-hearted, slinger of some serious shit talkage. During the game last night, I was literally lost for words a few times throughout our communications and I had no way to respond. I don't know exactly why I couldn't respond, but I have narrowed it down to a few possible causes:
One: Possibly she is a witch. I say we burn her to find out. It really is the only solution.
Two: Maybe she is a computer program. I do know someone very close to her that is handy with the computer.
Three: Maybe she read an article on trash-talking right before the game. Thus the key components of an insult are still fresh in her mind.
Four: iPhone app. This is probably the most likely reason.
Five: She is evil.
So I will have to give these reasons some more thought, but I think I definately have some solid leads to work off of.
Let me know what you think.
Night.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Um yeah, so you think this trash talker might have some hidden agenda? She might be practicing for the National Trash Talkers compitions in which case if she left you speechless, she is doing very well and should be applauded...
ReplyDeleteQuite possible... though I think that pure evil is truly the answer.
ReplyDeleteBahaha!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you expect? When you combine a natural god-given trash-talking ability and then hone it with the finest "sarcasshole" training from a master like Shaun... the results are devastating.
ReplyDeleteAlso, the Lakers couldn't own the paint even if they bought stock in Sherwin-Williams. Just sayin'. :)
I think I'd like this person! She sounds like a cool chick.
ReplyDeleteBetter brush up on your trash talking because they might meet again in the 2nd round of the playoffs.
Trailblazer fans have suffered for so long traditionally at the hands of the lilac and urine swathed ones, that when the two teams meet on our hallowed ground* Blazer fans become superpowered in the ways of trash talking, drawing on the energies of the very chop busting cosmos, like super seiyans of sarcasm.
ReplyDeleteThere is one, and only one counter to this, and it is just as likely to double their power as it is to work effectively, in light of the Jailblazer era being over, and that is the 4th quarter of game 7 of the 2000 Western Conference Finals. Like I said, this is highly likely to simply unleash said Blazermaniac's ultimate form upon you, so you're probably better off just waiting until the Lakers actually win in the Rose Garden again, in which case your nemesis will be already reduced to a highly vulnerable state.
*It's like highlander, only we're cheating, and you're the only one who can't fight.